BY MICHAEL S. JOHNSON
It’s about time.
If someone disses your woman, you should diss ‘em back. It’s the law of the jungle.
I’ve been wondering how Kanye was going to respond to Ray J; how he was going to jab the knife into the rib cage, just far enough to inflict pain, but cause no damage.
When the time was right, Kanye made his music the sharp blade of his revenge. He stepped onto the stage of Jimmy Fallon’s late night show last week, in a leather skirt, no less, and sang his hit ‘Bound 2,’ with new lyrics that answered Ray J’s ‘Hit It First,’ about how he hooked up with Kim Kardashian before Kanye. It was bad, really bad. The woman just had a baby, for crying out loud.
Ray J’s lyrical genius produced these memorable lines: “She might move on to rappers and ballplayers, but we all know I hit it first. I hit it, I hit, I hit it, I hit it…We deep in the building she know that I kill ‘em.”
Kanye, ever the poet laureate of modern American culture, struck back with: “Brandy’s little sister lame and he know it now, when a real brother hold you down, you supposed to drown.”
That dug deep, calling Ray J a girl.
The Kanye/Ray J feud has been a distraction from more important Kardashian news, like maybe North, the new baby in the family, for example? North raked in the early publicity, from all points on the compass, just by staying secluded. And why not? Kim may not rap well, but she’s a marketing savant. Word was she took in $12 million alone on the broadcast and commercial rights to wedding number two, to professional basketball player Kris Humphries. She’s reportedly changing public relations firms now, spinning off her marketing strategy from the rest of the family, to increase the Kim and Kanye payload.
Speaking of professional basketball players, I think their luck in Kardashianville has run its course.
Khloe, Kim’s entrepreneurial little sister, got engaged to on-the-court, off-the-court professional hoopster Lamar Odom nine days after meeting him and then took the relationship directly to the altar and reality television, cashing in on the next two years of suspense-filled drama.
Odom played his part, the unfaithful, drug addicted, self-consumed ingrate while Khloe was the dedicated wife and step-mom to Odom’s two children by a previous relationship in which marriage was not a consideration.
I guess the television show ended and, now, not surprisingly, so has the marriage, amid scandal after headline-grabbing scandal over Odum’s alleged chronic drug abuse and infidelity. According to People, whose reporting is, like, Gospel: “The whole situation is really sad, says a close Kardashian pal. She wants to save the marriage, but he isn’t in the right mind-set right now.” Ya think?
Khloe made her feelings known on Twitter complaining, of all things, about the prying eyes of the public. “Really hard to sit here and listen to people talk s—-about my family…I’m too protective of this s—.”
A Kardashian complaining about public attention. What was it Tom Clancy said about writing fiction? “The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
I wonder why millions of people plunk down 5 bucks for magazines and tabloid newspapers every week to catch up on the Kardashians, the Lohans, Desperate Housewives, Simon Cowell’s love affairs, the bachelor and bachelorette, baby boo whoo, and Robert Kennedy Jr.’s secret diaries.
I also wonder why voters vote for a sleazy politician who was found guilty of engaging prostitutes and another who exposed himself on the Internet.
I wonder why people don’t talk to each other and why they don’t go to church anymore. I wonder why more people today seem rude, arrogant and greedy, are less able to engage others in open-minded, civil conversation and get so righteous in their indignation of others with whom they don’t agree. I wonder why people can name the members of the Kardashian family but not their congressional delegation. I wonder why people buy into the BS from the media and ideological interest groups that seriously complex problems have simple solutions so you should get really mad when they’re not solved.
What I do know is that the Congress of the United States is, probably more so than any time in history, a microcosm of the country, a mirror reflecting society as a whole.
So, sometimes I think I understand why Congress is so dysfunctional.
Editor’s Note: Mike Johnson is a former journalist, who worked on the Ford White House staff and served as press secretary and chief of staff to House Republican Leader Bob Michel, prior to entering the private sector. He is co-author of a book, Surviving Congress, a guide for congressional staff. He is currently a principal with the OB-C Group.